do i want to dress alt or do i just want to suffer

 You know, I reallyyyy like the idea of online shopping. I get to play with different clothes, see my dream aesthetic play out in front of me and be a cool, alt version of myself that I dream to be.

In reality I hate online shopping. Or shopping of any kind. It's stressful as hell for me personally. 

Since I was in elementary school basically, I loved the idea of dress like a scene kid. Or a goth kid. Or a emo kid. 

However living in a strict household that was basically out of the question. But as I grew older, I tried to experiment with my style in more subtle ways that would be allowed within my family.

Now as a adult, I get random bursts of motivation to be like "Alright! It's time! It's time to dress how I want to dress!" 

But then like the other day, I'm scrolling through websites like Fox Blood for example and I am just thinking to myself....oh my god. I don't like any of these items. 

Am I a....poser?

I think part of the issue is that I am not the best at styling. I am very much a “put on bottoms, put on a top, put on shoes, maybe add earrings, and call it a day” type of person. I don't put a lot of thought with the current clothes in my wardrobe because I don't loveeee it.

So when I see individual clothing pieces online, I struggle to actually envision an outfit. I cannot casually shop somewhere without basically building the entire outfit right there, because I cannot picture how the clothes would look in any other context. 

Also, where I live, the vibe I am realistically going for nowadays is shawls, skirts, boots, cardigans, and things like that. Which is not exactly practical when it is hot as hell here, especially now that it is summer, and honestly even in the other seasons, it never cools down enough to be sweater weather it feels like.

For the last couple years, I have been slowly leaning towards what they call "whismigoth." I actually have a very similar outfit pictured to the left from Pinterest. I think that's the style I am going for nowadays and can survive the heat if I just switch to some...sandals and no cardigan. But again, I run into the issue of finding the correct articles of clothing to go all together when I am out shopping.

I am a chronic outfit repeater because of this, and honestly I see no shame in that. I just like what I like.

My point in posting this, I guess, is that I wanted to ask: where do you guys find this style of clothing? How can I up my fashion game? 

Here is a typical outfit for me right now if I was just out and about.

I have a purple variation of this skirt as well that I use interchangeably with this outfit.

It's a little more cropped than this but a simple black tee.

Not as fancy as this but I put a shawl on top that is also black.

Some kind of variation of these earrings, but you get the point.

P.S. here is this funny shirt I saw while I was scrolling Depop.